I got too excited again and started talking way too much about some weird shit. Something about how jizz turns green with age if you leave it out. But she just keeps hitting those keys on that iPhone all tuned out. The TV in the corner blares highlights from the Olympics. Speedwalking. Jesus Christ that’s an Olympic sport now. I watch those boys sashay down the track like a determined violent mob storming the Best Buy on Black Friday.

“If speed walking is an Olympic sport,” I say “then Helicoptering should be too.”

“What’s helicoptering?” she asks as she pauses that damn phone.

“You know…” I say and can’t help but smile as I draw a circle in the air with my finger and look down at my cock while more so grinding my hips in hula hoops.

“…Doing the helicopter.”

She still doesn’t get it. Maybe I shouldn’t…

“Ah forget it”

“No! What is it!?”

“You really wanna know?”


I twist around in my seat to take a look around –- the waiters are all in the back and there are no patrons in the place but us. There is a nice dense bamboo fence all the way around the Gypsy Cafe to separate us from being seen by any passersby on Venice except for through the few cracks between two random sticks. And even then…

So I get up, take my cock out and do the loop de loop for her with my fingers in the air like a cowboy with his guns whi doing perfect circles 5 inch swing radius.

“Hahahahaha yeehaw girl.”

She looks at me with pre-vomit shock.



“That is fucking disgust. You’re sick dude?”

“Haha I’m sick cuz I’m disgust? Hahaha why?” I’m honestly confused. And my cock and balls are still out. I don’t get it. Not 2 hours ago she was flossing with it, sticking her tongue out, begging me to come while she squeezed her little fingers into my wrist controlling the clench on her neck and asked me to keep squeezing… a little more…

Meanwhile, she keeps looking at it for the entire time. Like it is a strange alien being.

“EWWWWWW!” She yells it this time. “Why you always gotta take it to the next level like dat!?”

She turns away from me and stares off at the TV on her left where the divers prance on a plank 50 feet above blue chlorine waters somewhere there in London as we sit here at the Gypsy Cafe on Venice and Motor.

I stuff my cock and balls back into my Calvin kleins and sit back down.

“I hear Mexico swept the diving competition this year” I say as I stare intently at my fingers smoothing out the corners of the napkin.

She looks at me and presses her face toward me in excited shock.

“Really?!” she says.

“Uhh… No.” I smile. “No. I’m just kidding hahaha uh…”

She closes her mouth and turns away shaking her head and looking confused and furrow browed again. I free the straw from the paper straightjacket and dip it in the water and cover the top of the straw with my index finger. Then I move it over with that water in the chamber and drop a fat load on the folds of the straightjacket so it snakes around on the table all willy nilly horrorshow. I look around. Not a single soul in sight for solid 20 minutes. Kinda weird. Not even the waiters to check on us. Probably smoking weed and fucking in the storage room getting the eggs.

Benjamin and Nadia are at the liquor store next door buying a few bottles of something anything. We just received our waters and pita bread and the waiters have all disappeared from sight. Ashley’s watching the American diver get ready to do his job. I see it in my peripheral. The water barely moves as he penetrates it as thin as he can. Damn good dive. My elbow bumps the table and the cups with the water shake and rattle like an earthquake. She doesn’t break her TV gaze.

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